Quincy at 8 months

One word, Lovable. Quincy is happy and joyful. He is content and peaceful. Which is much needed in our home. He is the perfect addition to our family. He will sit nicely on the floor playing alone and then will absolutely light up, just beaming, when someone looks at him in acknowledgement. I think he is the absolute definition of the second born. He knows he isn't the center of attention and is ok with that.




He is quiet and doesn't say much. It always catches me by surprise when I hear him babbling because it's not often. He is happy to just sit back and watch his surroundings.

He's been a hugger since early, wrapping his arms abound us. He adores Titus, even though Titus is so rough with him. Quincy will grab Titus around the shoulders or head. It seems he will soon be moving and that will end some of his "sit and watch" behavior, I'm sure. We'll see how his relationship with Titus changes once he is on the go!



My dad said yesterday that he thinks Quincy will be the nature-lover. Taking walks in the woods and finding bugs while Titus runs wild destroying everything in sight. That's pretty acurate. :) I think Quincy will be the reader, the thinker. It will be fun to watch him grow and see how his personality develops.

In Their Easter Best

I'm not sure why am I still surprised when things don't go as planned. As a mom now I feel like that has become my new normal. The Saturday before Easter, Titus started to feel a little warm to us. By Easter morning, with outfits laid out and baskets on the table, his fever was up to 101. We planned to go to the early service but held off as I struggled to decided what was best. It's difficult with Titus when he's sick because he continues to play as though he's not. I often say (jokingly...partially) that I envy the moms of kids who when sick will lie on the couch for hours. As the morning went on Titus seemed to be doing fine, even though he did have a fever. We decided to go to the second service at Gateway Grace Church and intended to keep Titus with us in the service rather than putting him in nursery. We dressed, we went...Titus slept through the service. After church we were to go to my parents for lunch. We went, Titus played. He skipped his nap. Only did he really slow down for a few minutes to lay on a chair watching tv. We came home...and he crashed on the couch. His fever getting up to 103. Now, looking back at pictures of him from our time at my parents I see how rosy his cheeks were and the blank expression on his face. I feel like I am constantly still learning to be a mom. Looking back, I know we should have stayed in all day. Now we know for next time...because as I am learning...there will be a next time.

"Baskets"

Easter Sunday








A few days later, I dressed the boys once again in their Easter outfits so I could get picture of them (healthy)-

Titus pretending to take pictures of me-


...and the flowers-

Signs of Summer

Clipping the mint leaves to make tea-


Chubby naked baby legs and bare toes-

Playing with water-



Stopping playtime to give brother hugs-

Not wanting to let go-


Bright sun-

Back on the swing-

Backyard Project

Nature Walk with Grammy & Pappy

Last Sunday my parents came over to walk through the woods with us-




Pappy telling Titus about the hobbits that live in the tree-

Brotherly Love.

Chapter Seven

God's Sense of Humor Begins with Contractions
Principle 7: Be Intentional about Being God-Dependent

"The earlier you learn to depend on God, the more you like your children, the more you enjoy being a mom, and the less you care about other's opinions on how you perform as a mother. Doesn't that sound wonderful?"

"God knew that the way to a woman's heart was through her children. From the beginning of time, women have been the caretakers and primary nurturers of children. The child's dependency creates a deep sense of protection and responsibility within us."

"Mothers are vulnerable to their children in a way that nothing or no one else compares. God created us this way because He knew He could teach us the greatest lessons of life, faith, and unconditional love through our children. He knew nothing else could get our attention quicker."

"When mothers are intentional, they learn to lean on God for parenting wisdom, hope, insight, and strength. They also find themselves more confident in the daily challenges of being a mom. The weight of motherhood responsibility isn't as heavy because they know God carries the load for them."

"Another benefit of being God-dependent is that we reach the point of expecting God to take care of our children. This becomes instinctual-a way of thinking and believing about our kids where we automatically turn to God first in all issues involving them. Trusting God this deeply with our kids is liberating for mothers. They truly feel as if they are in partnership with Him in the process of raising their children."

"When mothers choose to live a life of faith, trusting their children to God, they'll find the path rich with life experiences that will better prepare them and their kids for life. Learning to wait graciously, asking for what you want or need, and expanding the way answers are delivered can be huge moments for increasing a child's faith and hope. We don't want to hinder God's mysterious unlimited ways."

"Crises are great opportunities to demonstrate...
steadfast faith, gentle patience, and incredible peace."

"All because you allowed a difficult moment to become a platform for children to see God show up on the life of your family."

"Intentional mothers know and trust that if God allows a difficulty to enter your children's lives-or even affect the entire family-He plans to use this experience as preparation for their future. He may use challenging circumstances to develop their character, patience, perseverance, or faith, but God always has a purpose and a plan."

"When our children and teens watch us become God-dependent, we teach them it is okay to be vulnerable, to ask for help, and to allow ourselves to have needs. They realize that we don't have all the answers, which makes it easier for them not to have all the answers either. Simply put, our God-dependence demonstrates to our kids that when we are weak, He is strong."

Chapter Six

I finally picked up the book "Raising Your Children with No Regrets" again after so many months and finally finished it. I had heard the author, Catherine Hickem, while in Florida and just loved her! The book has been really great and I absolutely recommend it. She talks about being intentional in parenting. I have moments when I'm struggling to make it through a day (or week) and have to remember to be intentional. To focus on the bigger picture.

Here is what I underlined from Chapter 6, The difference between control and intention. Principle 6: Be Intentional about Being Intentional.

"Control usually becomes less about protection and more about power."

"The concept of control is typically associated with codependency, which develops in a person as a child if his or her environment feels emotionally unsafe. A child can feel vulnerable in many different ways, and even in families where you'd least expect it."

"Being raised in a home where the adults are unpredictable, needy, addictive, and/or unstable sends a message to the child that no one is in charge. The result of such an environment is a child who feels inadequate and anxious. To compensate, the child seeks any means possible to calm the inner turmoil, to control the situation: act out, withdraw, regress or overcompensate."

"Control is also manifested in families where approval is paramount and insecurity is normal. It becomes a driving force when a mother reacts to others' opinions of her children rather than trusting her own."

"People will turn anxiety into control because it is an external way to calm internal chaos."

"Control provides a false sense of safety, because people believe if they control the variables in a given situation, the world will be a safe and wonderful place. This is an illusion, of course, but is one that most of the world has bought."

"Most mothers struggle with control, yet they're often oblivious to it. They see themselves as simply being vigorous about impacting the outcome of their children's lives. They want to see their kids' needs met. They want to see their kids happy and successful. The problem is the mother's methodology, not their heart."

"A controlling mother typically loves and adores her child. Her motives are pure and her desire is to bless. The downside is, she seeks to control the outcome of situations for her children rather than modeling and teaching them what they need to learn."

"Controlling mothers are fear-based mothers. They make decisions out of fear and live with the eternal "what if" questions. Parenting this way creates a constant environment of anxiety and stress for children. Living fearfully undermines confidence, reduces energy, and leaves mothers with an emptiness that cannot be filled."

"Fear is a terrible characteristic to pass on to your children."

"A mom will battle fear in her heart throughout her motherhood journey if she remains in a control-dominant pattern of life. She will be quick to imagine the worst and go out of her way to have back-up plans for every possible outcome."

"Fear can damage any type of child, but certain personality types are deeply scarred by a fear-based mom."

"When fear dominates, hope is dampened, and that is sad for any child."

"Intentional mothers break free from a fear-based lifestyle because they choose to live in faith. They embrace a sense of purpose and anticipation of God's blessings in their children's lives. While they recognize the challenges that lie ahead, they see them not as obstacles to be controlled but as opportunities to see God work."

"When a mother lives intentionally, she knows that her greatest obstacle to victory is probably herself, not her children."

"A mother who wants to live a faith-based life instead of a controlling one will need to take a moment to examine her journey through childhood. Remember, there are only two reasons to ever look back: (1) to recall the faithfulness of God and (2) to learn from the past."

"If her life has been full of difficulty, then she will need to take some time to reflect on the lessons she gained from those experiences."

"What does she do differently as a result of those painful life lessons?"

"Asking these questions often provides insights into how those challenges and hurts of her life weren't wasted."

"Intentional mothers who are free from fear are great role models for their children. They exude confidence and aren't afraid to fail."

"This fearless approach to motherhood allows moms to meet their children's needs without their own insecurities getting in the way."

"Another key difference between a controlling mother and an intentional mother is the issue of trust. Trust is second only to love in the "need categories" for our children, and it begins immediately after birth."

"Trust is developed over the course of the relationship and comes in handy when life doesn't make sense. In such times, trust is all we have to hold on to."

"When a mother has control issues, she has trust issues. She struggles to trust herself, her children, her family, professionals in her children's lives, and most of all, God. Because of her own background, she sits on the fence of doubt, not wanting to commit herself. She struggles to trust anyone for any reason, believing that she or her children will be wounded or scarred."

"I believe God created woman with a discerning heart, but mothers who struggle with control and trust are less likely to trust that intuitive sense."

"When a mother doesn't trust herself, she struggles to trust her children. She often projects onto her children-especially daughters-her own history of poor decision making, impulsivity, or deception. This damaging behavior sets the child up for a self-fulfilling prophecy."

"Intentional mothers handle their trust issues by trusting Christ first. They recognize their own struggles and choose to go to the One who is trustworthy. This is a challenge for many mothers, but intentional moms know that if they let go of their own control and risk trusting God, they will be rewarded for it."

"When a mom trusts God, she finds peace in the midst of the storms of motherhood. She believes nothing she and her family will face is bigger than God."

"Intentional mothers have a safe and loving view of God. They believe He has their best interest at heart and wants to meet their needs. They see that behind the "rules" some people call Scripture is God's heart of protection."

"Most of all, an intentional mother trusts that God knows her children better than she, and that He will be with them all the times when she cannot."

"There's no greater way for women to bless God than to trust Him with the treasures they value most: their family."

"When mothers choose to trust, they experience peace."

"When they choose to release their kids into God's hands, the responsibility for how their children develop doesn't feel so heavy and burdensome."

"I am saying that parents must understand their job is to teach their children and adolescents how to make decisions. This process takes place over time, with practice. The only way for that to happen is for parents to provide the opportunity for their teen to learn, practice, and even have the chance to fail-not try to control every situation so the child doesn't have the chance to decide anything."

"Children and teens need to know their family is a safe environment in which to make mistakes."

"Control is an insult to another person because it says, "you don't have the ability to make good decisions without my help." That underlying message erodes hope, confidence, and joy of growing up."

"Intentional mothers keep a broad perspective of their role as mother and understand that releasing their children is part of the job."

Wow, I didn't realize I had underlined that much! This one was a huge chapter for me. I struggle with trust issues. Last week I was having various fears regarding the boys and decisions that Steve and I are making at the moment that will impact their futures. I struggle to release the boys to God. I probably will have to continue to remind myself to do so many times throughout their lives. It will be a continual process for me. Especially since watching my parents lose their son. I know that trusting God doesn't necessarily mean He will always protect them. But understanding that I can't. I read this chapter and the next on Sunday. Re-reading tonight what I had underlined there were several times that I said "wow" out loud. I had many "Aha" moments just tonight. I love how that can happen.

I will post chapter 7, the last chapter, later.