Growth

A picture to start off...




I realized today how much this experience of moving away has been teaching us. And how much we're growing. Actually, I don't know if it is for Steve as much as it is for me. Having never been away from home for more than two or three weeks at a time, it's been a very stretching experience for me. Since coming back after our summer spent in Pennsylvania I have been determined to get out and get to know people. Not to waste my days away. I think back to my days last year...home, alone, and lonely. These past few weeks have been filled with play dates, bible study, and events at the school. When I do have a day with no plans it comes as a pleasant break. The weekends come quickly and I am able to enjoy the time with Steve. Last year the days would drag by. I would count down the hours until Steve would be home from school, because, on most days, he was the only person I really talked to (besides the Target checkout ladies).

Today we (Titus and I) went to a brunch with some moms. I met a lady two weeks ago at Thursday's women's bible study at the church. We met up on Monday to walk along the beachwalk with our strollers and get to know each other. She called me last night to see if I'd like to come over for a brunch she was hosting. While there she was talking to Titus and he kept hiding his face. She said to him, "You're so shy. Where do you get that from? Not your mom." I told her that I have always been a quiet person and that yes, he does get it from me. But I thought to myself...I must be really good at hiding my fear...or I am growing as a person. I do think it is the latter. I know that God is stretching me in many ways. I know God's stretching is often uncomfortable and I know that it took (and is continuing to take) that discomfort to get me to who God wants me to become. I got comfortable in my own little world, in my own little home on Swan Road in Atglen. Coming to Florida with only Steve and Titus has made me grow in ways I couldn't have otherwise. I am now seeing that as a blessing. Whether Steve and I say here for another year, or another 10 years, I know that when I do leave I will be a changed person if I allow God to work in me.

I read this today in a blog talking about self-centered Christianity,

"It's all about what Christianity can do for ME - what can God do for ME - wealth, health and prosperity! God's wonderful plan for ME! Me, me, me. He wants ME to have all I could want. He wants ME to be happy and so if I'm not happy, well it must not be from God. . ."

I know that is the attitude that I've had about our situation here. When we have struggles it must mean we are meant to go "home." I let myself forget that it isn't about ME. I need to ask myself how God can use me here. What can I do for HIM?

From the same blog I read this...

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house.

At first, perhaps you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you know that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.

But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to?

The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of--throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself!"

Best Moment By Far

This weekend Steve had the opportunity to rap for Calvary Chapel's youth services. During three of the four weekend church services, Liquid, the teens service takes place. We all three went on Saturday night and then again this morning. This morning we put Titus in nursery for the 10:15 service so that Steve and I could experience the entire Liquid service. I then got him from the nursery so we could watch Steve perform for the 12:30 service and then go home. On Saturday night Titus and I sat in the back and he was in his stroller so I don't think he realized it was Steve on stage. Today...he realized. We were sitting near the back, Steve started to rap, I pointed to Steve and said, "there's daddy." Titus took off running towards the stage. He stood at the stage the entire time. It was just the sweetest picture. He danced there and even lifted his foot trying to climb on the stage. Aunt Jane always says Steve started to rap when he was 3 or 4. I wonder if Titus will do the same. I love that he is able to watch Steve perform in this way. I ran back to get my camera between songs and was able to get a little video (in order to hear Steve you have to go to the bottom of the page and turn the music off)...

Little Green Boots

Titus got the cutest little pair of green rain boots for his birthday this summer from the Harwick family. I decided the other morning after a good rain shower to go out in search of a puddle for Titus to play in while wearing his boots...so that I could take some pictures of course. We couldn't find any "good" puddles. I needed one that would have a good background for the pictures. :) So, we ended up on the beach and he splashed in the waves. Which I figured was almost better than playing in a puddle anyway. I put the pictures together on a slideshow this time. I have spent many hours searching for a new blog so that I could show my pictures in a larger format. After much searching, I finally found a solution to my "problem." Enjoy!

Rainforest Cafe

After our lazy Saturday morning and afternoon, we decided we needed to get out of the house. We went to Rainforest Cafe in Sunrise for dinner. Titus loved it and was entertained through (almost) the entire meal. There was so much to see that I found it a bit on the overwhelming side, but it's great for kids. Steve and I enjoyed our meal and Titus enjoyed the atmosphere!

Rainy Lazy Saturday

Today is the most perfect rainy Saturday. Titus is just down for his nap, Steve is watching a movie, and I am able to have some moments to myself. Oh the joy of the weekends....or making it through another week. Yesterday was a good day and the evening was one of the best we've had so far. Titus and my day started with a play date. Titus had a friend over for the first time. He was so excited! I've never seen him react the way he did when they came in. He saw them and ran and hid in his room then peeked out around the corner and ran back in. Hiding is his newest favorite game. He was thrilled to have another little guy in the house. The boys played nicely together and really seemed to enjoy each other. Shortly after they left, the UPS man brought me the most "sweet" package from my dear Amy. Then when we went to the mailbox, I found another package from my dear Rachel...a book for the beach. In the afternoon we went to a playgroup that wasn't quite what I expected although Titus had fun. Lighthouse Point has a mom's club that I thought about joining. It is a group of 60 stay-at-home that meet for various outings. We were able to go to one before deciding if we'd like to join....we won't be joining. After that we went home so I could feed Titus a quick dinner and get ready to go to the beach when Steve got home from work. We spent the most relaxing two hours on the beach. Titus splashed in the water, played in the sand and watched the kite surfer. Steve and I took turns sitting in the beach chair, swimming in the ocean and playing with Titus. We stayed until the sun went down. It was the most beautiful picture. I didn't take my camera along because I thought, how many pictures do we really need of Titus on the beach? Now I wish I had taken it. Next time.

Quick Update

Just thought I'd give an update as to how we're all doing (physically and emotionally).

Physically we're now at about 33 percent. I am feeling good again. It's funny how in the middle of an illness, it's impossible to imagine ever feeling good again. After the illness has passed, you can't remember how terrible you felt. Steve is, I think, coming down with what I had. He had the fever and has had a sore throat for a couple of days now. Which is how it all started for me...then the terrible throat pain started. Which is what he is now beginning to experience. Titus has had his runny nose and congestion for almost two weeks now. We're doing all we can to make him comfortable and each morning I just hope it's gone. Today is the first I noticed him chewing on his fingers so it leads me to believe he may be getting his molars.

Emotionally it's been a lot of ups and downs. One minute I love it here and the next I want to go back to Pennsylvania. With us all feeling so bad physically last week brought about much emotional sadness. Being here without the help of our moms (who I know would've gone above and beyond for us had we been home) made us both homesick. This was a first for Steve. He is still enjoying school and loves what he's teaching this year...but, for the first time he realized how much of a difference it makes to have family nearby during the rough patches in life. I also had to face the fact that I am fighting with God for control of our situation. I want to know now where we'll be next year but I know too that I need to just wait for God to show us.

Happy Grandparents Day

Titus is so blessed to have such wonderful grandparents! We love you Mom-Mom, Grammy and Pappy!


...his little blue hat says, "driving cross country in my truck" and is for his Pappy.

Dinner on the Beach

Since we're all feeling a little better tonight we decided to go to the beach this evening. I learned that when I'm feeling discouraged about being here, so far from our family and friends, a trip to the beach is good comfort. :) It was a beautiful evening. Picture perfect blue sky with fluffy white clouds. It was high 80's. The water was amazing. I packed a sandwich for Titus and some juice and snacks. We rarely go this time of day, but both Steve and I said we need to more often. Titus is so great at the beach now. He's over the stage of eating the sand. He loves to play at the edge of the water and walk along the sand. Although he did get hit (twice) by a pretty big wave. He went under for a moment but came up ok. Our little man is very much a beach baby!


I promise I wasn't out as far as it looks. I actually had my knees bent as the water was only about waist deep there. Since there aren't any people around us and there aren't waves, it looks much farther than it really was.

Relief

I think we are finally getting some relief around here. After being on antibiotics for 36 hours I am feeling much better. I still have discomfort but not pain. I took Titus to the doctor this morning to have him checked over and found out he does just have a cold. It took the strength of both the doctor and myself to hold him down so she could check his ears and throat. He is a fighter! Steve left for school this morning before I was out of bed. So I'm not sure how he's feeling but it must be better than yesterday if he made it to work. We're hoping for a good weekend.

Just thought I'd throw in another picture of our little guy...who isn't looking so little anymore.

Whew...

...what a week we've been having. Actually it all started the second half of last week. Titus is sitting here now eating breakfast with his little nose running down to his lip...I have my hand on my throat trying to give it some kind of comfort...while watching the door waiting for Steve to come back from the school...at 8:06am. He left the house at 5:40am in his sweats with a fever (it was probably already 80 degrees when he left) to go get things ready for a substitute. Yes, we are all sick. It started with Titus getting a fever last week. He had it for two nights and then it turned into a cold. I got the fever on Saturday night. I slept pretty much all day Sunday and had a fever again Sunday night. Then I got the worst sore throat I could've ever imagined. I went to a doctor (that I found in the yellow pages) yesterday...and was less than impressed. He said it looks like an infection and gave me a prescription. I am considering going to someone else today. Steve was determined not to get sick...he did. Yesterday after getting home from school his fever started. While he was on the phone for 3 hours with the Internet people trying to figure out why our new service that we had installed yesterday doesn't work. It has been one thing after another. We have been "borrowing" service from our neighbors since we've been back in FL but it goes out for us occasionally. We didn't have any service for about 5 days so we finally got around to having it installed...it didn't work. Is it more testing for us...or a sign that we shouldn't be here? At this point we all want to pack up a Uhaul and head home...even Steve. We have been back here for a month now and have been experiencing more days like this than we'd like. In the midst of it all, we've been trying so hard to get to know people and get involved...really giving it our all this year. We said this year would be our decision year. That we would give it all we had so that we could make a fair judgement at the end as to whether or not we should stay long term. It's been so difficult to keep a positive attitude about it all when we've had all this "junk" happening in our daily lives. So, for everyone who thinks we're down here soaking up the sun and sand, lying on the beach and floating in the pool... just because we live at the beach doesn't mean that our life is always a "day at the beach."

It hasn't been all bad though. Here are some good moments from the past two weeks...

Bringing Down the Fever

Yesterday before putting Titus down for his nap, I noticed he felt a little warm. I gave him Tylenol and laid him down. He woke up two hours later with a temperature of 102. He wanted to play so badly but just couldn't. He'd get his toys and walk around then come to me crying. We sat on the couch watching Sponge Bob (which he's been saying for a couple of weeks now...in his own way) We kept giving him Tylenol every six hours all evening, but his fever never really broke. He went to bed at six and woke up three hours later. He was up for an hour, drinking lots and still trying to play. We put him back to bed and he woke up today only slightly warm. I decided to take him to the pool to try and cool his body. They cool the pool here in the summer, otherwise it would get too hot to swim in. At nine o'clock it was still shaded by the trees and very cool. We swam for about 30 minutes. I think it helped. He had a much better day today. He felt a little warm again at bedtime...just praying it doesn't come back. He was with several kids on Sunday (in nursery and at two different houses that we went to)...not sure if he caught something or if it's teething.

off to the pool

I said, "Titus look at the boat." And he took off running!... ...watching the older lady during her morning swim