Titus is closer to four now than he is to three. Somehow. It happened so fast. Although it feels like another lifetime ago that he was born and we brought him home to our little Atglen schoolhouse. I look at him and can't believe how big he is. How old he looks.
I'm really enjoying him lately. Really falling in love with him in a way I haven't since he was a baby. There have been many days over the past several months, probably even years honestly, that I struggled with Titus so much. I heard before that God gives children He has chosen for us who will help us grow. For us, as parents, to face our own struggles. To come face-to-face with our own issues and make us overcome them. That's what Titus has been doing for me. His temper, his lack of self-control. It's all me. Issues that I've never dealt with. Until I saw them in him and saw how he can bring them out even more in me.
It's been challenging.
In February, after three months of issues at school...him being sent to the principal's office, being mean to friends and defiant to his teachers...we've made changes to his diet and have seen huge progress. We found that sugar and artificial food dyes cause and anger and out-of-control behavior in Titus. After doing research and talking to others, I learned this is common in some kids.
Sweet little Quincy {who is now entering his own terrible two's and isn't always so sweet anymore} endured much of Titus' "abuse" for so long. Titus would walk past Quincy, who was just learning to sit, and push him over. Quincy would fall straight back and hit his head. Or Titus would randomly kick or hit Quincy. It was those acts of anger that had us so frustrated for such a long period of time. I would see his face change and a rage would come over him.
I'm so thankful for the school and his teacher's daily behavior chart that made us aware of how severe the behavior could be on days. Titus would get out of the car in the morning so determined to get a "green star" but would then come home with a bad report and a "red day." It was good to see that he wanted to do good, he knew what was right...but he just wasn't able to accomplish his goal.
That helped me to realize it was more than just a lack of discipline at home. He was struggling physically. His body was reacting to the sugar in his system and he couldn't control his behavior. It was Valentine's Day that I really became aware. He had done well at school in the morning but after the class party (and eating a sugar cookie with red icing and several candy pieces) he was being disobedient at naptime and not letting his classmates rest. When I brought him home after school, he came in the door and started to literally wipe everything off of every table or surface in the house. He destroyed the house in a matter of minutes.
We made changes..and we've seen changes. He's gotten that green star he was so desiring, for four weeks straight.
It's been a journey. It's been a struggle. I've had moments with Titus when I've said to Steve, "I just can't parent this child" in complete frustration. We're getting through this stage. I know there will be more to come. :) We praise God for our little {now big} boy. He is a personality so un-like either Steve or I in his humor and silliness. Although Steve says he was "never like that" I do see Steve and Titus as one in the same. Although Steve might never show that side in public as Titus does. :)
We love him. All of him. And are continually amazed and excited as we watch him grow and wonder what his future will hold.
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