Sunday Morning Thoughts.

This morning I'm feeling quite exhausted...overwhelmed...in need of a "break." But then mothers don't get breaks I'm learning. I'm fighting a cold. It made it's way from Steve to Titus to Quincy to me. I was up three times with Quincy last night...and the three nights before as well. The sink is overflowing with dishes. The worst feature of this house is it's lack of a dishwasher. The dryer is running now. Doing laundry on Sunday mornings has become the new routine. In place of going to church. I'm ashamed to admit...we haven't gone in months. If I was truly honest...I think we've only gone once since being back in Pennsylvania. As I type I am listening to the live Calvary Chapel Ft. Lauderdale service. We listened to the 8am service also. It's been 7 months since we've been back here and I still feel torn between the two states. Maybe even more so now as time goes on. It's a hard thing to face, the place that has always been my home doesn't feel so much that way anymore. I went out for milk early this morning. There is snow on the ground and there were no cars on the roads. It was nice, peaceful. The sun was still coming up. Yesterday I took Titus to my parents house for an hour so he could sled down the little hill in their backyard. It was the most perfect morning. Seeing his excitement about going there. Watching my mom watch him sled. But then...Florida. I still miss it. I long to be back at "our" church. Seeing the people who just received Christ walk front during EVERY service. So moving. I always got teary eyed. Even now watching it on the internet brings a lump to my throat. There was a feeling there that can't be described. A closeness to God that I don't feel here. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I wanted to leave. It was scary. Wondering what God was going to do with our lives. How he was stretching me. Now I can only wonder what things he had in store for us.