Part 1. The (Beginning of the) Journey

On May 18th 2010, Steve accepted a job offer to teach back in PA. I started having regrets almost immediately. Driving north on Federal Highway (I don't remember where I was going, probably Super Target), I remember seeing the diversity among the people of south Florida. I remember watching a woman getting on a bus, I don't remember what she looked like, but I remember thinking, Titus isn't going to see this kind of diversity in PA.

But, we packed. We found housing. We moved.

After getting back here to Chester county we stayed with my parents for about a month until our rental house was ready. Then we moved in. And began the most difficult few months of our marriage so far. I don't say that casually. Our relationship has had some extremely difficult times. After some heartbreaking days in our five years of dating, we married. The first year of marriage we struggled financially as Steve was teaching at a very small Christian school. Then my brother died suddenly. Eleven months later, his brother was shot and then sent to prison. All the while we were struggling to conceive...for five years. We haven't had the fairy tale romance and this wasn't our first bump in the road. We had already had many. Maybe they all helped develop us into the strong couple that we are today. Preparing us to handle this most difficult time in our marriage. Steve regretted coming back. I felt like he was blaming me for it. I was mad at myself for not trusting God to take care of us in Florida. He was mad at himself for not being the spiritual head of the household and staying where he felt God wanted us. We both knew, and finally admitted, that we moved back out of fear. The fear of becoming a family of four there. How would we do it? Raising two kids without family? Who would watch Titus while I was in the hospital delivering? The uncertainty of it all is what I believe drove us to come home. We were at the point of our being there where we would either come home or go "all in." We came home. We chose the easy route.

Only it turned out to be not so easy.

I started journaling on the computer as our journey began in early December. This is what I wrote-

Thursday, Dec. 9th- 1st step towards us moving back to Florida. Steve called Aaron Mills (friend from CCA). Told him of our desire to come back. Aaron confirmed that Steve would be welcome back. Steve said, it’s up to us to decide if we want to be here with family or…I immediately thought “where God wants us.” I feel like that’s where we belong. It would mean full and complete commitment to Steve to move back to Florida as a family. It will be permanent.

New Year’s Day 2011 - I was lying on the couch while the boys were napping and Steve was at the school doing some work. Picturing Florida in my mind, I thought to myself, I am ready to go “home.” When Steve got back to the house I asked him “what’s up?” He said, “I want to go home.” I couldn’t believe we both thought the same thing and both used that word, “home” when talking about Florida.

January 3, 2011 - I read this quote today - “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

January 6 - Steve left me a note … I'm up late reading and I want to be in bed with you...instead I'm doing worksheets. Would you really move to FL with me again????? I texted him that I would go anywhere with him. Then I got tears in my eyes. Were we about to move again. I think of my mom and my sister. How could I leave them again? Though my loyalty is to my husband and boys. I have to do what is best for them. And I know I grew the most in my life while living in Florida. I felt the closest to God there. My relationship with Him was getting deeper than ever before.

Tuesday, Jan. 18th - Steve’s 2nd talk with Aaron Mills. Steve told him we would like to pursue a return to CCA. Steve decided to leave it up to Aaron’s judgment in bringing the idea before the administration. We will pray and wait for Aaron’s call. It’s in God’s hands…His timing.

Sandy Perrin (head of history dept) called Steve on Feb. 14th asking him questions about the class that he teaches now (AP world history). She was told they are adding that class to CCA next year. Wow, could they really be adding the exact class that Steve teaches now?!

Talked again to Aaron Mills and he confirmed that there is going to be a position opening and the principal will be contacting Steve within the next two weeks.

Random thought - Feeling like south Florida may just be a stepping stone for us…on our way to missions perhaps. As though going back to Calvary will develop me into who God needs me to be for another mission.

Feb. 23rd - Had dinner with aunt Jean and Pam. We shared with them what was going on with our possible return to Florida. They promised to pray.

When we came home that night Steve got a call from the principal at CCA. He told Steve that there is indeed a position available teaching AP world history. He had just found out that day that there is a teacher from the history department that won’t be returning. Told Steve to take as long as we need to pray and make a decision. They will hold the job for Steve. Steve said we would pray and they made plans to talk again in 2 weeks…which I later realized is going to be exactly 3 months to the day from when Steve first made contact with Aaron Mills about our possibly returning to Florida