Parenting Titus

He's three years and five months. And can be so challenging for me to parent at times. School has been a new challenge for us all. Some days good, some not. We thought we were finally seeing consistency in him during the month of October. He did really well all month and even into the first week of November. Then I got a call from his teacher one Monday. He was being disobedient. I happened to be on campus for a meeting so was able to go to his classroom and talk to him. He was being mean to his friends and I ended up bringing him home early. From then on, we struggled with his behavior. Until last Friday when he received a green star again. Every day he's at school he gets a color. Green star is best, then green, yellow, blue and red. He had been getting everything but green for three weeks.

Steve and I read a parenting book. We prayed...and prayed...and prayed. We bribed, we took toys away. He was without his Matchbox cars for three weeks. They are his absolute favorite thing to play with. We tried everything that we could think of. We have open communication with the teacher and she was so encouraging.

I know he's "only three" but there are certain things that he needs to learn and get control over now. It was a frustrating time for us. I felt discouraged. Nothing we were doing was working. Titus seemed to want to do well. Each day I would go to pick him up, I was just sure that he had a great day. But then I would get another bad report. Titus prayed about it and seemed to understand what he needed to do. He would start to tell me while on the way to school, "I'm going to get that green star today, Mom." But then he wouldn't.

I looked back at when the negative behavior began and looked at what we had done the weekend before. We thought about everything and anything. Could it be that he was missing family from PA? Was it all too much change for him? At school they were talking about the change of seasons, did he remember that and miss it and was now acting out because of it? Was he afraid of something just coming off of Halloween (we tried to shield him from it...but he would see things at the grocery store or Target)? Was he trying to outlast us on taking away his cars?

Whatever it was, we're so thankful that he finally got that green star. Not just a green, but a green star. The best that he can get.

My mom was here, she came for a few days. Maybe having her here helped. Maybe it was Steve's talk to him the night before about respect. Maybe it was my "exercise" that morning to help him get his kicks and hits out before he walked in the door.

Maybe God felt we had learned a lesson that He was teaching us as parents. To rely on Him more.

From Mrs. R on Friday in response to an e mail from Steve-
It was a long yet fruitful day today. I apologize for just now getting back to you. Be encouraged by Titus' behavior today. He tried hard, stayed close and talked his way through to getting and keeping his green star status. Today we talked about "Going on Green for God." (He seem to embrace that alliteration of words). When I used the word "respect" it got his attention and he said, "Yes, teacher" as he gave me eye contact without that nervous laughter Morgan told me about. Because he was focused, attentive and agreeable he was able to "work as onto the Lord" and got quite a bit done. He is very proud of the Christmas card he made for grandma and signed it, on his own, with a large "T." The girls in the class made a big deal about that and he was pleased. He napped well without any promptings and even after having an accident got up, got changed and went back to rest. It felt like October again :).
I think I may need to do a graphic behavioral chart for him to help him with the specific areas needing improvement (playground etc.) His day was pretty seamless in spite of the little struggle he had separating from Morgan. Full days seem to be the way to go for him. He enjoyed picking from the Treasure Chest and wants to do that after nap everyday he says! :)
Tell Morgan it was a pleasure meeting her mom today and I hope she enjoys her visit. Be strong in the Lord and the power of his might! Parenting Titus is definitely not for the fainthearted.:)

She said during this process several times, that we need to break his will. I was so grateful for her saying that and I completely agreed with her. He has an incredibly strong will combined with a temper and probably an immaturity. He is one of the babies of the class. Looking back I wonder if sending him this year was too much. Maybe he isn't ready for school at such a young age. We plan to do the three year old class again next year. I would rather him be in the older group in his class rather than being one of the youngest. I think it will be more beneficial to him.

But...I guess we need to get through this year first. :)