Growth

A picture to start off...




I realized today how much this experience of moving away has been teaching us. And how much we're growing. Actually, I don't know if it is for Steve as much as it is for me. Having never been away from home for more than two or three weeks at a time, it's been a very stretching experience for me. Since coming back after our summer spent in Pennsylvania I have been determined to get out and get to know people. Not to waste my days away. I think back to my days last year...home, alone, and lonely. These past few weeks have been filled with play dates, bible study, and events at the school. When I do have a day with no plans it comes as a pleasant break. The weekends come quickly and I am able to enjoy the time with Steve. Last year the days would drag by. I would count down the hours until Steve would be home from school, because, on most days, he was the only person I really talked to (besides the Target checkout ladies).

Today we (Titus and I) went to a brunch with some moms. I met a lady two weeks ago at Thursday's women's bible study at the church. We met up on Monday to walk along the beachwalk with our strollers and get to know each other. She called me last night to see if I'd like to come over for a brunch she was hosting. While there she was talking to Titus and he kept hiding his face. She said to him, "You're so shy. Where do you get that from? Not your mom." I told her that I have always been a quiet person and that yes, he does get it from me. But I thought to myself...I must be really good at hiding my fear...or I am growing as a person. I do think it is the latter. I know that God is stretching me in many ways. I know God's stretching is often uncomfortable and I know that it took (and is continuing to take) that discomfort to get me to who God wants me to become. I got comfortable in my own little world, in my own little home on Swan Road in Atglen. Coming to Florida with only Steve and Titus has made me grow in ways I couldn't have otherwise. I am now seeing that as a blessing. Whether Steve and I say here for another year, or another 10 years, I know that when I do leave I will be a changed person if I allow God to work in me.

I read this today in a blog talking about self-centered Christianity,

"It's all about what Christianity can do for ME - what can God do for ME - wealth, health and prosperity! God's wonderful plan for ME! Me, me, me. He wants ME to have all I could want. He wants ME to be happy and so if I'm not happy, well it must not be from God. . ."

I know that is the attitude that I've had about our situation here. When we have struggles it must mean we are meant to go "home." I let myself forget that it isn't about ME. I need to ask myself how God can use me here. What can I do for HIM?

From the same blog I read this...

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house.

At first, perhaps you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you know that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.

But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to?

The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of--throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself!"